L is autistic. There, I said it. It's out. We don't know where he falls on the spectrum, but we know that he is on the spectrum. It will be at least six months before we have any more information. This is our new reality. I can't seem to get my mind off my sweet babe.
I don't think that any family ever wants their child to have ASD, although it is relieving to know why L is the way he is. Through this whole ordeal, all I want to do is scoop him up and hold him, snuggle him, and never let him go. Unfortunately that won't happen because he isn't a fan of being held and touched, only on his own accord, which is rare.
I've had a couple of very sad and teary weeks. It's time for me to move on from my denial/pity party. My child is healthy. He is happy. He doesn't know that he is any different. He is special. He is beautiful. I love him for his differences, not despite them.
I don't want anyone's pity, only support and love. Please send vibes of strength and attitude renewal my way. On another note, I have found that comments like "there is no way that an 18m old can be autistic, that's ridiculous", "he's too young to know that", "I don't believe in autism", or "autism is just an excuse for poor behavior and learning deficits" are completely unhelpful, not at all comforting, and honestly rather insensitive. Even comments made with the best of intentions are not always a good idea. If you know anyone going through something like this, it might be something to keep in mind.